The Best Part of the Hyatt Regency Waikiki is the Remote Controlled Toilet!

So writing about toilets is probably the last thing that I thought I would do when I started this blog.  Nonetheless, I can’t pass this opportunity by after writing my review of the hotel yesterday.  By my observation, about 80% of the hotel guests are Japanese, so this toilet is probably no big deal to them, but it certainly changed my bathroom experience.

The first thing that you might notice about the toilet is that it is plugged in to the wall.  Next you might notice that there is an electronic display on the toilet.  Not sure why you would need to know the toilet is working, but OK.

The reason for this soon becomes evident.  Sitting down on the toilet seat, you immediately find that the seat is warm, really warm.  My butt was soooo happy!  Also, the vent to the room immediately comes on.  Why you would need a warm toilet seat in Hawaii is beyond me, but this certainly would be great to have in a cold climate!

Next thing to notice is the remote control on the wall.  This is where it gets really weird.  I felt like I was in that science fiction movie with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock where she laughed because he didn’t get the “three dolphins”!  So, in the name of blog research, I pushed the button labeled “rear”.  Nothing happened for a few moments and then this warn stream of water started hitting my business.  OK, so in truth it wasn’t bad, just weird, really weird.  I didn’t try the “front” button as I figured that probably was for a different anatomy than mine.  I tried hitting the rear button to stop it, but only could do that be hitting the stop button.  Naturally, I tried the “dryer” button with obvious results which I admit were not unpleasant.  Then I tried the acid test of wiping with toilet paper and found that I still needed quite a bit of toilet paper!

Can someone please explain this whole concept to me?  If it was saving tons of toilet paper and single-handedly preventing global warming, I could understand all this apparatus.  But it didn’t seem to save anything, so what the hell?!!  Ah, the Japanese, who knows why they do what they do?  Andy’s now in Okinawa, maybe he can reveal the secret of the Orient – at least regarding toilets!

Needless to say, my Asian wife loved, I mean absolutely loved, this toilet.  She is now thinking how we can get one inside our house.  What can I say, opposites truly attract!